Lost in the fire
by FantasyPixie
Summary: What if things had of been different that night and Hiro was the one who ended up in the school that night instead of Tadashi?
1. Chapter 1

Hiro couldn't believe he'd done it!

He had gotten a place in the nerd university he had always made fun of his big brother for going to.

Laughter filled that night, it was that kind of laughter that made you feel like you had just spent an hour at the gym and you can't stop, it hurts either way but you don't care cause it means you're happy.

Hiro couldn't stop the grin that plastered his face, he ducked his head and bit his lip to stop from smiling. Someone bumped into him, he looked up to see Tadashi- his big brother- grinning at him.

"I told you you're unbelievable Bonehead, can you imagine how many people your microbots are gonna help… the whole world I bet, just you wait!." Tadishi rambled on excitedly.

Hiro shrugged "I don't do things to help people like you do Dashi, my brain doesn't work like that, I mean sure, it's a bonus an all but it's never my main goal… that's your thing."

Tadashi shrugged "At least it means no more bot fights right?" the pair had broken off from the group, aunt Cass happily snapping photos from behind to capture the gems of gold as she liked to call them.

"I guess so… if I'm not bored that is." Hiro joked but wasn't sure if he meant it or not yet, he guessed he would have to wait and see. Hiro was taken off guard as Tadashi's friends jumped on them. They all laughed and Fred kept chanting "Party, party, party!"

_a buzz of excitement electrified the night's sky. _

Hiro was fist-bumping Fred when he remembered that he left his neurotransmitter on the stage of the presentation room, there was no way he was leaving it for just anybody to get their hands on.

"Hold up guys, I've left my neurotransmitter in the school, if you just wait here for two seconds I'll be right back and we can have that party at ours."

Before everybody even had the chance to agree Hiro was sprinting off back towards the school. The guys laughed and Tadashi shook his head, he was so damn proud of his boneheaded baby brother, although it meant Hiro trying to push his buttons to annoy him for the next few years. Tadashi pulled off his cap and rubbed his head to mess up his hair, he laughed again, anyone who saw him could tell that he was proud. He looked to Aunt Cass and hugged her tightly; she was crying and kept repeating "I'm just so proud of my collage boys."

The group laughed again, elated with the good news. Honey Lemon whipped out her phone from her bag. "Guys, we need to keep this moment, let's take a selfie." she chirped and whilst Go Go complied she still grouped up for the photo.

Honey Lemon captured the photo and giggled happily.

However, just as quick as the photo was captured… everything changed when the alarm bells warned the groups around the campus.

The family looked back towards the school and all gasped in horror, they just stood there, frozen in fear as they watched their home away from home be engulfed in flames.

_That was the moment Tadashi's world came crashing around him. The night he couldn't make sense of the world around him._

* * *

He ran- _no running was a stupid word_\- it was more like sprinting until his lungs burned, begging for more air to fill them. But he couldn't care less, all he cared for now was making sure his baby brother, who was the only thing that could make the bad days good again was alright, that he was safe, alive ._breathing. _

Tadashi had taken care of Hiro ever since his parents died, he tried not to but he accidentally became a parent, worrying about him, being proud like he was a moment before however that feeling was replaced with nothing but utter dread, pain and yearning to see his baby brother again._ Hiro. _

Tadashi watched as the floods of students, teachers and adults alike came pouring out from the only exit they could escape the blaze, but Tadashi still could't spot Hiro. He gently grabbed a random girl that escaped from the belly of the fire. "Is everybody out? Are you okay?" he asked out of concern.

"Yeah, but professor Challaghan and a little boy are still in there."

_Still in there. _

_His only father figure was in there with his mad scientist of a brother. He had to save them, he needed to save them… no matter what the cost. _

Tadashi took a deep breath and closed his eyes, picturing his baby brother alone, confused and scared, he shook his head, he couldn't… no wouldn't, he couldn't entertain that idea.

He ran up the steps but somebody pulled him back and he pushed against them.

"No! Someone needs to save them!" he screamed as aunt Cass pulled his body towards her with the added efforts of Wasabi_ and _Fred to aid her.

Tadashi started to sob uncontrollably but was determined to fight against the restraints that kept him away from his brother.

Honey Lemon gasped as she watched Professor Callaghan stumble down the steps, she and Go Go ran to support him and he coughed up the carbon dioxide.

"Prof, are you okay? Oh my god I just can't understand how something like this could happen, I mean you always go on about it but you never really-" Honey was cut off by Go Go with a glare as if to say 'not everyone's safe yet so can it.'

Because of the uproar Tadashi managed to escaped his human cage, he sprinted up the steps and hoped, but hope was cruelly snatched from his hands as he saw his little brother, his face painted with soot from the fire; he was stumbling towards the door, Tadashi saw the tears that ran uncontrollably down Hiro's cheeks, he saw his little brother rub them away, as if he was annoyed at the tears falling. Tadashi thought that they must match right now; tears that mirrored one another.

That was the last thing Tadashi saw before he was pulled back to a safe distance by Professor Callaghan, then they were both flung back like rag dolls into the air and their frail bodies slamming onto the ground by the impact of the inferno.

* * *

**AN, Hey there, I went to see BH6 a few days ago and now I kinda, a little tad obsessed with it.(whoops.) I can't have been the only one wondering what would have happened if the brothers swapped roles at the start... am I?**

**I haven't ****written anything in a good few years; I think the last time I published anything on here was back in '11 so I've no idea if my writing's decent or not anymore. (Oh dear.) **

**Should I carry on with this or leave as is guys? **


	2. Chapter 2

Tadashi had gotten this bad habit of tossing an turning in his sleep, getting worse when he was stressed out with something. Then it became more thrashing around as if he was the the sea against the rocks.

Everyone assumed that Hiro needed Tadashi more than he needed Hiro, but the truth was Tadashi needed his brother a hell of a lot more then he let on, they had been each others support network, now he had nobody to talk to that 'got it.' like his Boneheaded brother had.

_Tadashi didn't want to open his eyes._

As soon as he did that he would have to face the world around his bedside, he would have to admit the truth to himself and he still wanted- no _needed_\- to play pretend and imagine that Hiro was at his side and still running off to bot fights on his own.

_But he couldn't do that._

The older brother could feel the pain rise from the pit of his chest where his heart throbbed from angst mixed with seven parts grief_. A sorrowful concoction indeed. _He felt that pain churn itself into a physical thing. _Tears. _

_"__Oh Dash." _ He could hear his aunt Cass coo in the background. Tadashi finally opened his eyes and was hit with the blinding light you get when somebody turned a light on when you've already become accustomed to the dark.

* * *

A thirteen year old Tadashi Hamanda was awoken by a succession of flashing lights.

Tadashi grumbled as he threw a pillow over his head in futile attempts to keep the lights at bay.

"Bonehead- he moaned- you're not practising morse code with your flashlight again at- Tadashi checked the digital clock on his bedside- at two in the morning are you?"

No answer came from his brother's side of the room but he could hear small whimpers fill the room now.

Tadashi mumbled about being in school tomorrow but he sat up anyway and looked across the bed to the lump that covered in Hiro's quilt in Hiro's bed.

The older boy smirked, he bet the boy was reading another one of his books about physics again.

"Unbelievable." Tadashi laughed and sluggishly threw his covers back and stumbled around in the dark to crotch beside the lump in Hiro's bed. He rested a hand gently across Hiro's knee.

Another small whimper erupted the silence, however Hiro relaxed when he heard his big brothers soothing tone.

"You wouldn't happen to know where my physics book's gotten to… do you?" Tadashi asked the small ball of covers. Hiro shook his head quickly and threw his trembling arms around his brothers neck, his flashlight left abandoned on his bed.

Tadashi was shocked to say the least, he eagerly returned the hug; wrapping his arms around Hiro's small frame and pulling him closer to him.

"Monster's 'Dashi." Hiro whispered as he trembled in the safety of his big brother's arms.

Tadashi kissed the top of Hiro' s head and shifted Hiro to his right arm so he could switch the robot lamp on that Hiro kept on his bedside table.

"Dashi no! I don't want you to see my bed!" Hiro panicked and clung to Tadashi even more.

When the light flooded their room Tadashi understood why Hiro was embarrassed; Tadashi could see that his little four year old had wet the bed and tried to clean it up himself; the under sheets were pulled back and crumpled in a ball. Tadashi pulled his own head back to look at Hiro and wide brown eyes stared back. Hiro cried in his brothers arms.

"I didn't mean to; I had 'nother nightmare about that scary mon-monster and Dashi, I wanted to get you to help but I was too much of a whip to move." Hiro stuttered.

Tadashi stood and carried Hiro- who was nuzzling his face into the crook of Tadashi's neck- to the bathroom, being careful not to stair their aunt who you cold hear snoring from across the landing; Hiro sniggered at his aunt snoring.

"She's almost as bad as Dad hey." Tadashi laughed along with Hiro as he ran a bath for him with lots of bubbles as commanded from Hiro himself.

"She's almost as bad as you Dashi!" Hiro sang in a playful voice as he wiped away his tears as Tadashi helped him into the bath.

Tadashi pretended to act offended and gasped dramatically, splashing Hiro with the bathwater right in the face. They spent the next half an hour having an all out splashing war with each other until Tadashi put his foot down and lifted a squealing Hiro into a clean towel and cradled him in his arms. They went back to their room and Tadashi threw Hiro carefully onto his bed, sitting crossed legged whilst rubbing Hiro's head with his towel to dry his hair. Next he jumped up and grabbed a clean pair of pyjamas for Hiro, throwing them at his little brother, they hit him right in the face which earned a disgruntled 'offt' from Hiro.

Tadashi quickly opened a window in their room and threw the dirty sheets into the washing basket outside in the hallway.

"Dashi, I'm stuck!" Hiro shouted out. Tadashi- who was still out i the hall- rushed back in thinking the worst but laughed as he saw his little Bonehead with his arms crossed in the air and his head only just peaking out from it's hole.

"Not funny Dashi, I'm really super stuck!" Hiro complained crossly. Tadashi- still laughing at this point- sat on his bed and pulled down Hiro's top to reveal a very moody, pouting Hiro with his arms crossed against his chest.

"Not sorry Bonehead, you looked far too funny like that… an improvement some would say." Tadashi joked but Hiro playfully pushed him anyway.

"Right Mr, It's super duper late and I need my sleep so you can sleep in my bed tonight but you need your sleep so move up and get comfy under the covers, oh and no hogging them, I know what you're like Mr!" Tadashi lovingly warned as the pair of them got into bed and lay down next to each other.

Hiro glance at Tadashi's clock beside him and his eyes grew wide.

"Wow Dashi it really is super duper duper late, you should get some sleep, you got school in the morning you know." Hiro informed Tadashi in a matter of fact attitude snuggling up towards his older brother.

Tadashi- who already had his eyes shut- burst out laughing at the cheek of his little brother.

"You don't say." he whispered letting tidiness roll over his body. He could feel Hiro nod his head against his chest.

A moment passed and a small voice called out from the darkness.

"You promise the monsters won't gobble me up Dashi?"

"I'd like to see they try- Tadashi boasted bashfully- they even look at you the wrong way an I'll ninja-chop them into a black hole, no one messes with my little brother…that's my job after all."

Aunt Cass found them the next morning when she had to wake Tadashi up for school, she quickly ran to grab her camera and snapped another photo. Hiro had curled up against Tadashi, Tadashi was still cradling Hiro in his arms; one arm around his little brother's back and the other rested against the back of Hiro's head, as if he was holding a new born.

* * *

Tadashi rubbed the sleep from his sore eyes, he slowly adjusted to the light in the room and could make out shapes, when he could make out shapes he could make out people, when he'd accomplished that he recognised his friends and family, but none of them were Hiro.

They say when something happens, something that your brain just goes into auto-pilot, that you don't think, you just do. That was happening to Tadashi as we speak.

"I need my things, were are they?" He asked, coughing as his voice cracked.

All eyes that were on him eyed each other with matching worried expressions. Tadashi claimed out of the hospital bed but was met with a pair of arms that restricted him from moving. Aunt Cass was there, holding him tightly, crying herself.

Tadashi eyes panned slowly across the room; he saw his friends; Fred, Wasabi, Go go and Honey Lemon just staring at him with pity in their eyes.

"Dash, Hiro's- he's-" Aunt Cass sniveled into his chest, she was stopped by her own sobs.

"I know what he is- Tadashi snapped- but I can't just leave all alone, I still have my job to do, I still need to look out for him, so you guys can keep staring at me like I'm a mad man because there's one last thing I need to plan, Hiro's fune- Tadashi choked on his own words- his… final resting place, then I can morn.

**AN, Hi again, I'm back ****with a**** new chapter because all you guys really seemed to love it (I'm shocked.) I'm not sure how this chapter stands in toe with the last chapter. **

**Hope you all like it. **

**Reviews are always ****appreciated**** and loved. **


	3. Chapter 3

Tadashi had planned Hiro's funeral to a tea, he spent most days cooped up in his bedroom, so much so that the days rolled into one, plus sometimes he might have forgotten to take a shower, or put on some clean clothes, but Hiro still needed to be looked after… even if it did mean for one last time.

Sat at his desk in his worn, old chair the older brother glanced to the other side of the room and sighed as he spotted Hiro's robot, it looked angry; the face had turned to the red side… it had been like that ever since Tadashi returned home from hospital.

Tadashi thought it funny- that the bot matched his mood perfectly; he was just so angry all the time, at everything and everyone. He snapped at aunt Cass the other night because she wanted to re-open the shop, if he had his sensible hat on, the old Tadashi would have completely understood, even helped out. But he didn't, it's not that he didn't want to- that was against his nature- he just couldn't fake a smile for the world as well as his aunt managed to.

_She's already had practice at that though;_ when his parents died she had to muster a brave face to conquer the grief, she wasn't aloud to show the pain that trapped and suffocated her dull aching heart, not with to pre-teens under her roof.

_And here he was, still acting out like the twelve year old he use to be. _

Tadashi sighed and finally understood that he needed to try and take a day at a time… or a least a shower and a meal at a time, deep down he already knew the formula for grief, he was just acting out and denying the fact that his brother wasn't gonna be around.

He picked up a clean towel on the way to the bathroom, locked the door behind him, stripped off the sweat ridden clothes that had clung to his body for days and jumped into a warm make-shift shower that he had installed with Hiro as their first mothers day present for aunt Cass; she had been fantasying over having a shower for months but complaining that they just didn't have the room in that pokey bathroom, it was true they didn't have enough room but that didn't stop the brothers from building a waterfall power shower with a metallic ring that held up a shower curtain inside the bathtub.

As Tadashi lifted up his head to let the warm water pour onto his aching body to clean away the dirt he didn't realise he had a small smile on his lips that graced his face for the first time in weeks; he just couldn't get the memory of toddler Hiro being knocked over with an unexpected jet of water. The expression of shock that plastered Hiro's had been priceless.

Tadishi laughed, not a belly laugh or a chuckle… more like a soft huff of a laugh, if it could be called a laugh at all.

But as soon as the memory faded the anger and sadness returned to overpower his body, Tadashi clenched his firsts; _why! Why did I let Hiro go back alone? I should have stayed with him, I always said we would never loose one another… that I would always look out for him even when- no especially when- he was being an bonehead._

His inner monologue fuelled the utter turmoil he dealt himself and he couldn't fend off the overwhelming sadness no more, all his planning had been completed right down to the last dot on the page, the funeral director was booked, the order of service was printed, Aunt Cass wanted to take care of the food and every that mattered in Hiro's life was invited to come.

_There was nothing more he could do. _

His brother was gone. It would be finalised next week, the final nail in the coffin- so to speak- but Tadashi wasn't ready, that he could never be. He didn't want to leave his brother behind… he didn't want to be left alone with this pain.

_Sobs escaped his exhausted body and his legs gave way beneath him, he ended up curled into a ball in the bath; this was the first time in what felt like a long time that he let his emotion drown the protests of his fragile mind. _

He was thankful that the emotion had picked it's time to force him over the edge whilst he was covered buy the sounds of running water. He didn't was Cass to see him like this, he should be strong, be the rock everybody needed to lean against for support, he couldn't be weak, not now, not with everybody needing him to be okay, he needed to be okay, or at least act like he was fine with the world when he wanted nothing more than to rip anything that took his little brother from his protection.

_Now there was nothing more other than a void in his life where Hiro use to stand and Tadashi knew it could never really be fixed… not even over time; he understood because he still yearned for his parents to be there almost every other day. _

Tadashi stayed in the shower for a good half an hour to be certain that he was calm, cool and collected once more he wrapped a towel around his waist. He made his way back to his bedroom and fell onto his bed with a thud. Tadashi felt his eyelids droop and his eyes became heavy, making it impossible to stay awake.

—

Aunt Cass was propping up the shop counter, it had been an awfully long day at the shop and it wasn't even noon, she had managed to have a few moments to herself.

She liked to keep busy these days, it kept her mind off Hiro… but more importunity it kept her mind off worrying about her oldest nephew. She barely saw him lately, he locked himself away in that godforsaken room, the times she did see him or try to give him food he didn't even look like he was completely all together, plus he was always snapping at her lately. She had already been through this once but she didn't know how to make the twenty-two year old Tadashi happy.

She decided to call Tadashi's friends to try and help her sort this mess out.

—

Tadashi had slept for an hour an was only woken up because of the reoccurring nightmare of his brothers death. He sighed and got up out of bed, he rubbed the sleep away from his eyes. He threw on an oversized hoodie and a pair of worn jogging bottoms, he realised that it was utterly pointless staying in his room all day, now that his work was done he couldn't just laze about, twiddle his thumbs and do nothing.

No, he needed to keep busy.

Tadashi searched for his trainers that lay abandoned across the room on Hiro's side. Tadashi sighed and paused before crossing over to grab his shoes, he leaned against the door to put them on.

He made his way down stairs, pausing as his path crossed the kitchen on the way, he guessed he should probably try to eat something if he was running.

Tadashi rummaged through the draws and fridge but even looking at the various tinned food and dried pastas made his stomach turn.

Tadashi settled on a slice of slightly toasted piece of buttered bread to calm his stomach, he dropped the plate into the skin and washed it quickly before leaving it on the sink to dry.

He jogged down the steps, jumping down the last few steps. He stopped when he went to pick up his iPod that lay on the small side table in the hallway, he spotted Hiro's red music player next to his green one, Tadashi's hand wavered over his ipod but he made a grab for Hiro's player; he needed the music he usually hated and that annoyed him when his little brother played it too loudly.

Tadashi flung back the door to the shop and already had one earbud when he was ambushed.

"Dashi! You're up." Aunt Cass was shocked. She looked behind her to see Tadashi's friends look just as shocked as she was.

Honey Lemon jumped off her seat immediately, only to be pushed away by her boyfriend, he glanced passed her to his other friends and family.

"What are you all doing here? Don't you have work to do?" Tadasi muttered- not in the mood for anymore questions.

Honey's bottom lip quivered but she stood her ground.

"We're all worried sick about you Dash! And can you blame us? You lock yourself away, not speaking, not eating!- her tone softened- we care about you, pretending that Hiro isn't dead won't help anyone… it won't help you get better Dashi."

Tadashi backed away from his family and threw his arms to his side in the air.

"I'm not in denial- he augured back- Far from it, I've planned Hiro's funeral already, I've eaten today, showered and now I want to go out for a run but all you want to do now is talk about how I'm _feeling- _Tadashi mocked_-_ You're all forcing me to be at a certain developed stage of grief that you can label, you're not actually not letting me deal with the death of _my _bother the way I _need _to!"

The group that where sitting at the counter drinking cups of tea and coffee a few moments ago were shocked; everybody-_ apart from Aunt Cass of course_\- had never seen Tadashi this angry before, he was furious, so much so that he shook, it sparked through his body and ignited the fuse of pain so everyone could see the fire burn behind his eyes. They didn't think he had it in him to reach the level of anger.

They didn't say anything but they all slowly nodded in an unspoken agreement saying '_We'll leave you alone for now." _Tadashi's family went back to the mindless tasks they were attempting before their poorly planned intervention with Tadashi happened.

The boy in question nodded his thanks and sprinted out the shop, past the window and down the street.

Aunt Cass sighed. Honey laid a comforting hand onto of hers and Gogo raised an concerned eyebrow. The boys didn't hear her sigh so they carried on their heated discussion about how science couldn't bring monsters to life by reanimating their dead heart. The women left the boys to it.

"What's up Cass?" Gogo asked first and Honey eagerly nodded in agreement.

Cass bit her lip and sighed one more time.

"It's just- she paused trying to form the right words- I've seem him act like this before… when his folks died I mean… and it didn't end well."

"Is it just me… or had Tadashi been crying?" Gogo asked gazing out the door. The women nodded in agreement and the question had been loud enough to draw the boys from their discussion to stare at the spot Tadashi was standing a few moments ago.

**AN, Hello, sorry for the crappy chapter, I'll try and make them better. ** **What did you guys make of the chapter? I-personally- had always imagined Tadashi to be the complete ****opposite**** to Hiro when it came to coping with grief- let me explain- you see Hiro comes off as quite confident and outspoken but when he lost Tadashi he became reserved and an introvert. So Tadashi, whose normally has a cool ****composure would act out and show everybody just how he was feeling... but at the same time his mind wanted to cover up his grief but his emotions betrayed him in a sense. **

**R&amp;R are always highly welcomed, appreciated and needed to cheer me on for another chapter.**

**(Ps. Long wait because I didn't have software.)**


	4. Chapter 4- Running against pain

Tadashi found comfort within the beat's of vibrations that laced into the songs, running gave him focus, but mostly it was a distraction tactic to ease the pain he felt in his heart; he could stop over-thinking and only focus in the necessities of running.

But that didn't quell the anger in his chest. The angrier he got the faster he ran. He was trying to think things out to the beat of his feet pounded against the cement. He made a list in his head of what he had to do to move on, one was to go back to uni and make baymax even more afficent than he already was, number two was to get a hair cut; he hated it being long, he never understood how his baby brother could stand that birds nest he liked to call 'bed-head perfection.'

Tadashi laughed at those memories of Hiro telling him to lay off about his hair just cause he's jealous of all this hair.

He spotted the family's local hairdresser shop and decided to pop in to achieve task one of his 'get back on track' plan.

The familiar blonde with big hair, who wore too much makeup on her face and who was slightly over-weight greeted him with a kind smile. He forced a smile and waved an hello at her.

"Hey Kathy, can you squeeze me in for a quick hair cut?" He asked, still standing in the door way, the hairdresser didn't even have to think about it before she was ushering him in with the promise of fattening him up.

Tadashi sat in a chair as Kathy threw the black cape over his front.

He lowered his head into the small sink so she could wash the grease out of his hair.

The hairdresser's- even as a child; had always found it welcoming, the people in there where always so lovely. The salon was the girliest thing on the planet- Hiro complained about it once- and Tadashi had to agree, silently of course.

The walls were pink and were decorated with meaningful quotes. The mirrors had those spotlight lightbulbs and all the hanging table's below each mirror were slavered in heaps of glitter that were kept pressed below the glass.

It didn't take that long for his hair to dry and Tadashi had been trying to chat away like he usually would as Kathy cut his hair for him but today he found himself stumbling on his own words.

"Are you okay today honey? It's normally Hiro that's they shy one, I was expecting him to be here yesterday for his enforced monthly haircut." Kathy chatted away not realising that the young man under her had tensed up.

Tadashdi assumed that everybody would know about Hiro's death; turns out not everyone's world stopped like his had, and now he had to tell people.

Kathy was finishing up when she noticed how pale Tadashi face had faded.

"Viv, get me some water." she ordered one of the staff members who had just finished sweeping the hair off the floor, Viv willingly applied and rushed back with a mug of water gingerly handing it to a shaking Tadashi; Kathy rubbed his back soothingly.

He glanced at her face before staring back into the mug, he took a deep breath before speaking to calm himself.

"Sorry Kath, It's just- Tadashi took another shaking breath- it's just Hiro- he passed away- there was a fire last Friday and well… his funeral's on Friday at the local church if you can make it."

The ladies gasped and rushed to hug him, he hugged back to be polite.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I've just come back from a holiday with the girls."

"It's alright, it would mean a lot if you could be there though; You were the only one Hiro let cut his hair."

Kath laughed and Tadashi made an excuse to leave before he tried to pay- which she refused but he managed to slip it in the tip jar- and went back to his run.

What upset him the most was that he would never be able to watch Hiro grow up into a man, now he would always be stuck as a teenager, it was only a few weeks back that he had been pestering Hiro to get a haircut, only last week he had to take Hiro shopping for new shoes and clothes because he had another growth spurt. Now that was snatched away from him and it was all his fault, he shouldn't have been trying to push Hiro, his little brother was dead because of it now.

He sighed, fixed his ear buds into his ears once more and ran for another hour before he couldn't run any longer and his legs gave out. He had made it all the way to the coast beach, he slowly walked across the warm sand an sat in an empty spot, letting the sand slip through his fingers.

He lay his body on the sand and panted trying to achieve a normal heart rate. He switched off Hiro's music player to listen to the sounds of the waves being downed out by tons of happy children who kept running past him.

He must've dozed off in the sun because the next thing he knew he was being shaken awake by aunt Cass, he looked around, his eyes were greeted by darkness, he was confused as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Aunt Cass hugged him tightly, she was crying which only confused the young man more.

"Aunt Cass, what's the matter?" he asked, Tadashi's voice laced with concern.

"You've been gone since this morning, it's technically morning again, Dash, I was worried about you! You run off, not talking to anybody! Not eating, not taking care of yourself! I lost him to you know!" She shouted.

Tadashi's face turned to stone as she shouted at him, anger boiled his blood and made his hands curl into fists, he couldn't believe she thought she knew the pain he was in; she had a pretty peachy life up until his father died, a picture perfect childhood, she didn't even have to look after him and his brother until the police picked the pair up off the streets, so it was bullshit to compare herself to him the concern before had been fleeting and his anger returned at full force.

"_You have no idea what I've lost!_\- Aunt Cass was taken aback by Tadashi's rage as he screamed- _You_ didn't have to watch over Hiro, _you_ didn't have to willingly give up your childhood, _you_ didn't have to become a parent because yours died when you were eleven! I loved my baby brother- sure- _he was the most annoying person on the planet at times_ but I loved him, _who_ took him shopping for new things last week, _who_ scavenged for food for him to eat when the pair of up where on the streets? _Who _nursed him when he was sick,_ who_ took soothed him when he sobbed about the bullies in his year, or played games or dragged him away from bot fights that he nearly got himself beaten up at! I loved him Cass and I'm sick of people thinking they have the right to tell me how to feel or how to deal with the gaping hole in my chest!"

Tadashi's chest was heaving as he enforced his will to control his anger. Aunt Cass was hurt an about to cry but Tadashi carried on, somehow Aunt Cass had fallen victim and become Tadashi's verbal punching bag.

"Do you know what got me through mum and dad's deaths? It was Hiro and not because I

had to take care of us but because he always kept trying to make me happy when I was sad, he made me laugh when no one else could manage it. So stop reading those stupid books on the seven stages of grief and let me deal with his death my way, it's all I keep asking for.

Tadashi had calmed down but his breathing was still laboured, he quickly glance to check if Aunt Cass had diven- she had and the car was close- so he sprinted away from her, running all the way back home to see aunt Cass's car parked in the road outside the shop.

He rushed to take a shower, just to get himself clean again. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was gone with the wind, though it didn't last long cause he was up again a five in the morning, dripping in sweat cause he had _another _nightmare.

_All he wanted was his little brother back, all he wanted was all he could not have._

* * *

_AN: Could you tell I wasn't that bothered with this story this week?_

_I had no feedback from the __last chapter, so had no idea if I was on the right track (I have a basic idea of endgame but write as I go.) So I hope you like this chapter, R&amp;R's are always loved._


	5. Chapter 5- Goodbye to Hiro Hamada

_Friday_. Some agued it was the best day of the week. Not this week.

Tadashi stretched out his aching limbs and yawned. It was just a second, a fleeting second that he felt normal, that nothing was wrong but the second waved goodbye and he was submerged into the depths of depression. Tadashi sighed heavily and went downstairs to find Aunt Cass, he wanted to apologise for being such a jerk yesterday.

_Here goes nothing. _He muttered as he turned into the kitchen where he spotted Aunt Cass making a new brew of hot coco.

He whipped his face with his hand and grumbled a meek hello.

Aunt Cass turned an gave a small hello smile back. Tadashi dragged his body to the small circle table, he caught a glimpse of the empty seat beside him. _Hiro's chair. _

The older Hamada buried his face in his hands and cried. Aunt Cass set the plate of disgusting food in font of him, she wrapped her small frame around his, she rubbed his back to sooth him.

"Aunt Cass- I'm- I'm so- sor- sorry I yelled- I had know right- I just miss him." Tadashi rubbed his eyes an sat up, he leaned into Aunt Cass as she ran her fingers through his hair an Tadashi nuzzled into her while she cooed into his ear.

"I'll give you a pass this time but next time I'll shout just as much." She smiled and kissed his forehead lovingly.

Aunt Cass an Tadashi chatted away about the happy times Hiro gave them by just being Hiro.

"You know that Professor Callaghan is coming right?" Aunt Cass asked softly.

Tadashi's face twisted in disgust, Professor Callaghan was the person that kept him away from his baby brother, thus, he was the reason he was dead.

_Tadashi hated him now._

* * *

In the afternoon Tadashi stared at himself with the view from the mirror, he fixed the cufflinks to his sleeves and smoothed down his dark grey blazer- he really hated the idea of wearing something black and he point blank refused to start wearing the colour now.

The young man searched through his desk to find some forgotten about hair-gel; he glanced over to his full-length mirror to style his hair, he normally hid his hair under his cap but he couldn't do that, not today.

Tadashi ran his fingers through his freshly cut hair, he asked Kath to cut it a bit shorter from the sides just so he could take better care, contrary to popular belief, if he didn't get it cut regularly, Tadashi's hair was just as bad as Hiro's.

Tadashi took a deep breath in, his hands were shaking so badly he couldn't steadily hold his speech he'd written the night before in his hands without the paper shaking like a leaf. He noticed Hiro's side of the room from the mirror, he gave a small ghost of a smile as he crossed the room to where Hiro's megabot still lay on Hiro's desk, his angry mode still activated.

"Huh, still feeling as bad as I am bud?" He asked, already knowing he wouldn't get a reply, however it made him feel better so he couldn't really care less. Tadahsi paused- biting his lip- before taking the bot's small microbot hand and partook in the traditional fist bump.

"I miss him too buddy."

A gentle knock disturbed Tadashi's sombre serine. With the bot still in his hands Tadashi gazed passed his room to the door. Honey Lemon stood there, her hands clasped together and her shoulders hunched over. She eyed Tadashi carefully.

"You look beautiful Honey, even in black." Tadashi complimented walking over to his girlfriend and kissed her on the lips sweetly. Honey sighed, she had been so dreading the mood her boyfriend mood but he seemed to be in a reflective state. She ran her hands though Tadashi's hair lovingly.

"How are you feeling Dashi?" Honey questioned.

"Like crap, I don't want today to be today."

"Dashi, your hands are shaking, come here you." Honey pulled Tadashi into a bear hug which he eagerly reciprocated.

They stayed in that pose until Aunt Cass let them know it was time to get into the car.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, Tadashi couldn't really focus on anything other then the empty box- he had brought a eco- friendly coffin, no point in buying a coffin for an invisible man. Honey Lemon kept squeezing his hand, trying to comfort him, but he didn't feel anything, he didn't cry but people glanced over at him as if to ask 'why is he not crying like Aunt Cass was."

_He didn't know the answer, he wanted to cry… he just couldn't, he was keeping it at bay for when he was alone. _

Tadashi remembered the other occasion he had to partake in a funeral.

* * *

_"__Dashi, why did we 'borrow' these suites again? A toddler Hiro asked as he pulled at his stuffy collar. He gazed up at Tadashi, who at the time was focused on trying to flatten his little brothers hair with his own spit. Hiro made a face but kept tight hold of his teddybear. _

_Tadashi grumbled something about saying goodbye to Mum and Dada, he was a tad on edge cause he didn't exactly borrow but rather steal the suites for today, he had every intention of returning them so it was sort of like borrowing. _

_The boys had been sleeping rough now since Hiro had been discharged from hospital. Tadashi didn't like running away without consent but he had heard the horror stories about being an orphan and he didn't want to loose Hiro. _

_"__Come on Buddy, stick close to me okay, just like we talked about." Tadashi nodded an stuck out his arm for Hiro to grab onto. Tadashi instantly felt anchored to the ground as he felt Hiro's tiny hand wrap around his. He felt safe. _

_They walked around the back allies of the streets to go undetected by the adults, they hit the main streets and spotted a flower shop; Hiro managed to fish two single roses from a basket overflowing with them. _

_Halfway there an Hiro's legs grew tried so Tadashi cradled him, he could have easily give Hiro a piggyback but because he was selfish an he carried him close to his chest, almost as if Hiro was his comfort blanket. _

_The brothers crept silently into the back of the church and watched the service. Hiro leant into his older brother's embrace and fell asleep halfway though, Tadashi slid Hiro closer towards him and wrapped his arms around him, he stopped paying attention to the service and more attention to the small boy beside him. _

_Tadashi loved that bonehead to bits, he understood that he was probably depressed what with his parents dying an all but Hiro managed to make him feel that little bit happier; he was like a ball of sunshine- a little annoying ball of sunshine. _

_Tadashi legged it with a sleeping Hiro in his arms before the congregation moved to the graveyard. He sat outside, hiding in the church car park. He slid down the church wall as and took off his cap, rubbing his flattered, greasy hair. _

_Hiro woke up not long after, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He was upset that he missed something this important… even if he didn't understand completely what the important thing was._

_They were __dawdling_ _across the empty graveyard hand in hand. _

_"__Dashi, I'm still not sure why I'm meant to be sad, but everyone else does, am I a bad __person__?" Hiro __asked pouting._

_Tadashi's head __snapped towards Hiro. _

_"No, you're not a bad person idiot, I'm not sobbing but that doesn't make me a bad person." _

_"__Well duh, you don't want to cry in front of me but we're always together these days, you think that it'll make me cry too, that I realise Mommy and Dada aren't gonna be around- Hiro paused and rubbed his eyes- but I get that their taken away from us." _

_The older Hamanda was shocked but scooped Hiro into his arms and hugged him tightly. They sat across from their parents freshly dug graves. They lay their roses for their parents graves an sat. The brothers sat in content silence until Hiro spoke up_

_"__I read a poem on the library computer the other day- what happen's when you die- and I thought it was really pretty… can I tell it you?" _

_Tadashi nodded and held onto Hiro's hand as the younger brother, listening as he resighted the poem perfectly;_

_"__It's called 'A thousand words.' _

_Do not stand at my grave and weep._

_I am not there. I do not sleep._

_I am a thousand winds that blow._

_I am the diamond glints on snow._

_I am the sunlight on ripened grain._

_I am the gentle autumn rain._

_When you awaken in the morning's hush_

_I am the swift uplifting rush_

_Of quiet birds in circled flight._

_I am the soft stars that shine at night._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry;_

_I am not there. I did not die._

Tadashi didn't realise he was crying until he felt Hiro's little arms were gripped around him.

"Love my Dashi lots an lots like gummy bears."

"Love you too bud."

* * *

Tadashi snapped back to the present when the priest softly called his name.

"Now we have a few words from Tadashi Hamada."

Honey squeezed his hand one last time and he tried to smile.

He could feel the eyes bore into him, practically burning a hole into his suite. Tadashi walked up to the mic, coughing a little before he began his speech, his hands still trembling as he struggled to read his planned words.

"You know, I had it all planned out." Tadashi began, waving the crumpled piece of paper in the air, but know I realise I was about to talk about nothing, nothing important anyway. Tadashi rambled an tore up the piece of paper, the audience gasped.

"Hiro Hamada is-was- the greatest brother ever, the stories I could tell you about my annoying knuckehead of a brother. There was this one time- when he was five- he built a fully functioning ear piece that could translate any language into his ear so that he could understand."

The room gasped and he could see Aunt Cass laughing at the memory, an he smiled too. His smile fell when his brown eyes landed on blue ones, he glared at Professor Callaghan.

Tadashi carried on telling them about the stupid things Hiro challenged himself with

He laughed when he remembered the time nearly got himself grounded for a whole year.

"Hey Aunt Cass, remember the time he was convinced he could dig to the centre of the earth, so he spent all afternoon in the backyard digging his little heart out- Tadashi paused an laughed- Aunt Cass, I'd never seen you so mad, but than bang, Hiro pulls out his piggy dog eyed trick and you can't stay mad at him."

The woman in question nodded an laughed along with the room. All of a sudden Tadashi sobered up, remembering the reason he was here in the first place.

"My little brother's gone now, he was killed in the fire- _Tadashi glared towards Callaghan_\- everyone keeps asking me how I'm coping and I honesty couldn't tell you- _he held back the lump in his throat_\- it's.. like the moment you lose your parents in a massive supermarket as a kid, at the time it's the worst thing you could ever imagine, you can't find them an you keep searching for them, you tell yourself you'll find them soon but the panic rises as you try an figure out what to do, then you see them and the relief just… overpowers you, you've never been happier to see them."

Tadashi brushed the tears away from his face.

"I'll never feel that moment again- you see- I tried _so _hard not to become Hiro's parent but then he keep getting sick, having bullies, fixing scraped knees and making sure he was warm, loved and happy and I just fell into that roll. I'll always love you little bro. You see guys, I was wrong, _this is the worst thing that can happen._ "

Tadashi coughed uneasily as he watched pitiful stares greet him. When we lost our parents, we ran away for a while an lived on the streets- this confession earned a chorus of gasps from the church, hushed whispered filled the air; _Good boy Tadashi living on the streets, who would of guessed it._

"Anyway- as I was saying- we lived on the streets an people assumed we missed our parents funeral- Tadashi was addressing Aunt Cass now- but we didn't, we might have stunk but we where there, we hid an Hiro- well Hiro fell asleep halfway through the service... but afterwards- as we sat with Mum an Dad he asked me if he was a bad person cause he couldn't cry, I said he was silly because you see... I couldn't cry as well and I didn't understand it myself. Tadashi broke off, still wanting to weep in private.

"That was until Hiro told me a_ pretty poem, _I want you all to hear it now." Tadashi nodded his head an gripped the wooded pedestal for support. He took in a calming breath that filled his lungs.

_Do not stand at my grave and weep._

_I am not there. I do not sleep._

_I am a thousand winds that blow._

_I am the diamond glints on snow._

_I am the sunlight on ripened grain._

_I am the gentle autumn rain._

_When you awaken in the morning's hush_

_I am the swift uplifting rush_

_Of quiet birds in circled flight._

_I am the soft stars that shine at night._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry;_

_I am not there. I did not die."_

Tadashi's clenched his fist's as he tried to control his emotions, he stood down from the pedestal an paused at the empty box before undertaking their signature hand shake.

"Sleep tight little bro." he whispered before storming out from the church.

He sprinted all the way home with tears in his eyes being merged with the downpour of rain.

* * *

He stormed into the shop and upstairs to his room slamming the door shut, he studied his room in dismay; he hated this room, hated it cause it wasn't the same as it had been a month ago.

_A flip switched in his brain, this room was the reason he couldn't move on all of a sudden._

He started to rip the room apart; knocking, smashing anything he could get his hands on, all his anger he collected since Hiro died had reached boiling point an he was thrown over the edge; he smashed photo frames, ripped apart books with his bare hands, chucked the technology at the walls.

Tadashi felt amazing, he didn't like to admit it but he did, the more he destroyed the better he felt, he almost felt on top of the world again. _Almost. _

_When there was nothing more he could throw, he collapsed to his floor and curled up into a ball an sobbed surround by the debris of his rampage, he really didn't want Hiro to be gone._

* * *

**_AN- Oh my gosh, I loved all the reviews you took the time to write, they really helped me having the will to write this chapter out, I started writing the next day._**

**_Time to kick this story up a _****_notch, just you wait until next chapter, I have a full story plot in my head. _**

**_What do you think of this chapter, pain pain pain oh my. _**

**_R&amp;R's are received in giddy manner, cherished an turned into energy for the next chapter. _**

**(Just wanted to point out that I don't have a Belta or whatever the term is.) **


	6. Chapter 6- Mitch and Eli

It was a sunny day at the uni, a pair of men in white lab coats strolled together into the chemistry lab, both holding steaming paper cup's of coffee in their hands.

The blonde with bright lime green glasses sighed as he saw the reck of his invention broken into pieces an thrown into a cardboard box, he couched down on the ball's of his feet as he sieved through the battered cardboard box with his fingers; selecting a piece in his free hand an holding it up towards the light he sighed in discontent.

"Man, I worked_ so hard_ on this an it's destroyed with one little fire." He whipped his glasses on his coat an rubbed his tired eyes.

"My anti-ageing machine went haywire in the fire, completely flipped the coin; ageing anyone who came into contact with it- The blonde with the chiseled jaw laughed- I'm so glad I didn't ask for a human guinea pig to undergo the anti-ageing test, they would've killed me.'" Mitch chuckled.

The taller man walked up beside him, tying his dark deadlocks up with the spare bobble on his wrist.

"Tell me about it Mitch, I was this close to getting the _time skipper_ working an now were back to round one."

Mitch sighed an walked over to sit in the only armchair available in the room an sunk into the cosy space.

He put on his lime green spec's again an drank his coffee.

"I feel so bad for Hamada man, his brother _just _got accepted to this collage an now he's just a memory in the wind, not gonna lie I was crying at the service, just too many feels Eli." Mitch joked off.

"I get you, my cousin's mates with Tadashi, Wasabi was around at my folks place for tea last night an he was telling us that Tadashi just lashed out an started going all Hulk on them and smashed his room up." Eli explained whilst scrutinising his broken project.

Mitch shook his head in sympathy; he had a little sister around Tadashi's brother's age an he wouldn't know what to do if he were in his shoes.

Eli pulled up a stool in front of Mitch an sipped his coffee, a frown plastered on his face.

"What I don't understand is Professor Callaghan." Mitch's face twisted in confusion, he knew Eli's tones and that meant that Eli didn't like something.

"What are you getting at Eli?" He asked in haste, he glanced around the room to check if they were alone. Eli shifted his weight on the stool, he struggled to find the words;

"Why didn't the Prof' save that kid, he made it out, he would've had enough time to get both of them out… he would've had to walk passed him to get out, even if Hamada number two was already gone an dead Callaghan doesn't- _didn't_\- seem like the guy to leave a man behind."

Silence lingered in the air as the young men ponded the hap-dash theory. Eli stared at the lid of his cup, It just didn't make any sense, he wondered if he should mention his confusion to Wasabi.

"_Don't mention this to anyone else Eli." _ Mitch leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and warned his best friend, he knew Eli was onto something an he could end up in danger, he didn't want to see his mate hurt.

Eli didn't budge but nodded in agreement as the cogs turned in his mind.

_He couldn't let this sleeping dog lie, but we all know curiosity killed the cat._

* * *

**_AN: Quick _****_upload but that it means my shortest chapter to date (hope you don't mind.) hope you like it, I just wanted to move the story on. Do you like my OC's Mitch and Eli? Eli is Wasabi's cousin, I didn't really want to describe them fully this chapter but they. are. not. gonna take over this story, their there to give us a break from... THE PAIN. :)_**

**_However, would you like to see more of them in the background; as in break chapters? Let me know. Oh an by the way, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the wonderful reviews they made me giddy with happiness. _**

**_R&amp;R's are received in giddy manner, cherished an turned into energy for the next chapter. _**

**I'm not following the story completely an this is a 'reversedHiro' so who knows what's happened to Hiro.**


	7. Chapter 7- Zombie metaphor

_.Collage. _

_It was any other day.' _Tadashi tried to reason with himself as he stared up at the looming building; working-men caught his eyes, he observed the men working on the worksite of the new part of the building. Tadashi's breath caught in the back of his throat and he thought about Hiro.

He couldn't explain it, he just _missed_ him. he _missed_ picking on him or even shouting at him for doing something utterly stupid.

_He missed being a big brother most off all, that was gone now. _

Hamada was brought back to reality an snatched out from his haze by a gentle hand on his shoulder, his body still snapped around in shock, only to see Fred standing below him, greeting him with a soft- but sad- smile.

Tadashi forced a smile in reply but they both new it was fake.

The stroll to their room was unusual- only because Fred didn't obsess over some new comic he'd brought the day before. Tadashi welcomed the easy silence between them; that was until the duo grew closer to the groups work space… Tadashi grabbed onto Fred's sleeve- ignoring the stares this gesture earned them- The older Hamada couldn't explain it but he never felt pressured to be his normal- happy go lucky personality around Fred.

"Hey Fred, could you keep the others away from me- when Fred was about to protest Tadashi cut him off- I know, I know… it's just- Tadashi leaned into Fred so only the comic loving lad could hear- they want me to be ok, I can't be like the old me right now- he paused- please for the l_ove of Godzilla_ don't let them do_ 'the stare_.'

Fred nodded his agreement, he couldn't help but laugh when Tadashi pointed out '_the stare.'_ only because the gang had thought they were being oh so subtle with the worried glances aimed towards their grieving friend.

"You know I told them they would make crap spies." Fred joked letting him know he would keep them away. Tadashi laughed along-_ still not his old laugh, but better. _The pair still had a smile on their faces as they entered the room. All pervious conversation's ground to a halt, plus Tadashi could practically feel every bodies eyes bore into him.

Fred just shrugged it off, walking away from Tadashi to _'his chair' _grabbing a fresh, new comic from his tatted, old rucksack as he went.

"Don't you guys have super important science things to do?" Fred addressed the room innocently but everyone was clever enough to understand it had a double meaning.

Tadashi sloped off to his quarters to brood alone, he hated people at the moment, which was bizarre because normally he loved to chat to new people, ask them how they are an just have a general caring nature towards everybody he happened to cross path's with.

_That must be the depression talking. _Tadashi assumed, he lurched right into his work, finding solace in his work, he felt happier when he was busy tinkering away with a problem he could solve.

_Life, now that was something he didn't understand how to fix. _

_How can you fix something that's free as the wind?_

_You can't fix nature, you can't change the fate's design. _

_though's like these ticked around the cogs of his brain. _

"Come back to me Hiro, even as a brain eating zombie… I don't care, I'll still care for you." Tadashi muttered to himself as he focused on a broken fuse.

His mind zoomed to a insignificant memory- _well, insignificant at the time_\- Hiro had bugged him for what seemed like forever to watch this silly little British drama about zombie's of all things called _In the Flesh_\- beside's gummy bears, robots and the dreaded bot-fights...zombie's were what he loved to read up on.

Well, turns out that show became the most important thing to the brothers over the holidays.

* * *

_"Dashi." a teenage Hiro whispered from the spot on the floor beside his older brother where he remained rooted to the floor as if lead weights anchored him to the spot. They were sat in Tadashi's half of their room, Hiro always sat crossed- legged on the floor rather than on Tadashi's bed whereas unlike him __his brother lay on his bed while watching films together. _

_Hiro gazed at his big brother an bit his lip. They had just finished the midnight matron of In the Flesh; turn's out it was so much more than the zombie's munching on brain's type of deal as Tadashi had expected... he already had to sit through the Walking Dead with his younger brother... much to his dismay. _

_Tadashi hummed in response but wasn't paying full attention as he went around cleaning up the mess they made._

_Hiro gulped. Now or never. he thought as he plucked up the courage to ask the sore subject that had been bugging him ever since they began watching the zombie drama._

_"Would you hate me if I told you I... identify with Kieren?" Hiro rushed to speak, he need to get this over and done with already._

_Tadashi- who clasped a handful of discarded gummy-bears from the floor in the palms of his hands straightened up, his brows furrowed in confusion and his head cocked to one side- You identify coming back with the dead?"_

_Hiro rolled his eyes; his brother could really be clueless sometimes._

_Hiro steadied himself with another big sigh that fill his lungs, his heartbeat was spiking thinking of how his big brother would treat him, he hoped he wouldn't take it like Rick's father in the show. Hiro returned gaze to the tv- which happened to have turned itself off by now._

_"No, not that bit you moron- Hiro paused trying to find the 'right' words- What if I liked girls- he paused again, the words stuck in his throat- an- and boys. Would it matter if I liked them both?" The younger choked out, still attempting to explaining when he could see his Dashi mimicking a fish in the refection of the black screen._

_"Like Kieren in the show." Hiro muttered miserably, still watching his brothers stoic state in the blank screen with bitter disappointment; he buried his face in his knees to mask his sniffs._

_Tadashi didn't know what to say; mainly because he had far too many question's darting around that big old brain of his. However, he heard his little brother's muffled cries an he realised he could've handled this a tad better... but could you blame him in all honesty... his fourteen year old brother had just shared the little- more like major fact he might be bi- wait did he?_

_Tadashi was pretty sure he was still playing with his lego blocks and computer games at fourteen to even worry about girls... let alone question it."_

_The older Hamada shook his head in utter disbelief. He abandoned the stray food on the wooden floor once again an pulled Hiro into the biggest, born-crushing embrace you can imagine._

_"I would love you even regardless Knucklehead, even if you a mindless, brain munching zombie." Tadashi reassured his little brother, he groaned and moaned like a zombie, Tadashi even pretended to take a snap at Hiro's head. _

_Hiro laughed a little, wiping the tears on his oversized hoodie, he still slapped Tadashi's hand's away from his hair despite this. _

_"You hate zombies." Hiro pointed out._

_"I would love you regardless of your rate of decay. I do have a have a few question's though." Tadashi pushed, wanting to find out more._  
_"Shoot."_

_"How long have you known?"_

_"That I might like both sex's?" Hiro wanted to clarify before confessing to his big brother. Tadashi nodded, expecting Hiro to have this well mapped out by now, instead his brother just shrugged as it was the most boring thing to talk about._

_"Er, I can't really stamp out the details for you on that one bro, I didn't even click onto it being this big massive thing until last week; I mean I thought everyone was like that, it was no big deal right?- Hiro sighed an rested his head on the pillow he left on the floor for film night- it's not like I've wanted to kiss everybody out there- Hiro bushed now- I would just make these... observations in class... with the Bleaker twins- Hiro bit his lip- I just... observed... that they were both- you know- really cute... That and I had childhood crushes on animated guys."_

_Tadashi snorted but listened to his brother's every word, when he seemed to freeze up he encouraged Hiro to carry on with his memories._

_"What happened last week?"_

_"A kid in my gym class got beaten up cause he "Came out."-Hiro was annoyed now more then anything. He mocked the terminology simply because he didn't have a clue what it meant an why that be a good enough reason to kick the living daylights out of somebody._

_"What does that even mean 'Dashi? I don't get it."_

_Tadashi pulled Hiro into a hug- much to the protest of Hiro- if he was honest, he was with his little brother on this one; he understood it- unlike his little brother- but didn't see why a certain group had to admit who they were attracted to. You don't see straight people holding there hands up going 'I like girls.' so why should anything else be different. _

_"It means admitting that you're not straight." Hiro's face fell at that; he knew he wasn't gay... but he didn't really think he was straight either. Not if his crushes on the stupid Bleaker twins where anything to go by. _

_Hiro abruptly stood up from the floor sighing "I'm going to bed now Dashi." Hiro stated, rubbing his heavy eyes, signalling he was done with this talk. _

_His older brother wanted to protest- thinking it was just an excuse to stop talking- but than he saw how exhausted Hiro looked. _

_All he could do now was reassure Hiro that he was okay, that there was nothing wrong with him now... and that's what Tadashi did._

_"Oi Knuckle head- he called as said person was climbing into bed- you're just as annoying as before you told me." Tadashi laughed as Hiro stuck a finger up at him. _

_"Ahaha, so funny Dashi. You should quit robotic's an go on stage." Hiro sacristy reprimanded. _

* * *

"Poor Dude." Fred sympathised as he caught Tadashi threw the gap between the door. That's when the idea stuck him, he rushed back over to his chair and fished out his sketching pad, a pencil and he started to sketch away like mad. He couldn't see his mate in pain with people just pity staring at him _all. the. time._

_He was going to create the best comic book ever for Hamada!_

* * *

Mitch and Eli sat at their shared desk, trying to solve a problem they couldn't even comprehend how it happened in the first place. Whatever happened inside the fire held all the mysteries they now faced.

"Eli, my brain hurts, explain what the hell we're looking at here.

In reply Eli rubbed the tension spot on his forehead.

"It's impossible" He whispered in awe of the formula's he was skimming on his computer screen.

Mitch wound up; he hated feeling like the dumb kid.

"Eli! Please, slow words cause we've been up all night and you know I get cranky when I skip my morning coffee."

The young man jumped up an lifted the smaller man into a bone-crushing hug.

"Mitch- I think- are two experiments merged together the night of the fire."

_Confusion flickered across Mitch's face for only a slip second until understanding flooded his features. _

* * *

_**AN: Short chapter again but important for Tadashi's grieving. (not even proof-read so sorry if it doesn't read well.)**_

_**Thanks for **_**_supporting the story. It mean's a hell of a lot when I have to type up a chapter but I have the _****_support of the cutest review's ever!_**

**_Ohh what happened to Mitch and Eli's experiments?_**

**_Poor Tadashi again, but I hope you can tell he's muddling through his depression. _**

**_The next chapter's will finally be that confrontation between The prof and Tadashi that's been brewing. Let's have a nice cup of hurt feeling's in the morning shall we?_**

* * *

**_R&amp;R's are loved. They make my day._**

**_(P.s the show mentioned is called In the Flesh if you wanna watch it, one of the best shows out there with lovely layered, complated and human characters.) _**


	8. Chapter 8

Professor Callaghan knocked on Mr. Hamada's work room door. He was missing lectures- _or more importantly_-_ his _lectures and he wouldn't stand for it; he tried giving his star pupil a wide birth after his brother's death but his unfounded hated for him was stupid if it was affecting his education, after all, Mr. Hamada couldn't know, couldn't understand the circumstances to which Hiro Hamada died… could he?

It had all happened so fast- the fire, but he planed it in haste and didn't have time to work out all of the kinks… Hiro Hamada had become an dispensable hitch in the plan, all he needed was his micobots, not him.

But he cared for the older Hamada, cared that he kept up his education.

So when he strolled into the young man's room only to be met with the hardest glare he'd ever seen in the young man's eyes.

_"__Get out." _

Professor Callaghan nodded his head but stood his ground

"You're grades have dropped, sort it out or you'll be a drop out by the end of the year."

Tadashi was filed with rage, it seeped into his pours just having to look at that man, that killer. And when he tried to speak to him about his grades when it was _his entire fault in the first place. He threw the first thing that came to his hand straight at his professor's head but he ducked. an it missed him by mere inches. _

_"Get out, get out, get out!"_ He screamed.

Professor Callaghan backed out of the door as quickly as he could. This was all his fault.

* * *

Tadashi stood in the cafeteria gripping onto his tray so hard his knuckles had turned white. He sighed as he warily eyed his friends; he didn't really want to eat but he couldn't have people worrying about his health added to his current mental state.

He pottered over to his usual table where his group was already sitting at; not that he particularly wanted to be near anybody but- again- he didn't want anyone to worry over him.

Tadashi nodded an hello instead of the normal cheerful greeting he would besto on everybody he saw.

"Hey Dash." Honey- Lemon attempted to draw him into a conversation but Tadashi's focus was drawn to his disgusting tray of food, It churned the little food Tadashi had eaten.

Fred just shot a small shake of his head at Honey-Lemon.

Honey just sulked, picked up her tray and left the table in a huff, if Tadashi felt guilty, he didn't let it show-he did however- glare at his food and everyone was watching him with concern.

"I am still here you know, I can feel you staring." Tadashi snapped, he had just about enough of the pitiful stares and the hushed whispers in the corridors, Gogo caught his eye- or rather- what was on her tray caught his eyes.

_A packet of Gummy-bears._

Tadashi was still furious but he could feel the ball of grief slowly crumble down from the locked depths of his mind, it festered quickly into his heart, sucking like a leech inside his throat.

_He was about to break down in front of the entire university_; you could see his bottom lip tumbling and his eyes tearing up. His breaths shortened, becoming irregular and everyone could hear, at least that's what Tadashi perceived, really it was probably if anyone was close enough they could hear.

Tadashi made a break for it as he spun off the bench, dashing away, trying to find somewhere to hide away… somewhere safe from everybody out there. No prying eyes or forced conversation's.

He ran an he ran and ran. Out the university.

* * *

Hiro paced around his open space flat as he focused on his old hoodie, it didn't even fit him anymore. He couldn't make heads or tails of it all. One moment he was a fourteen year old in that damn fire an than he was 'here' wherever that was as a nineteen year old man. It had been years since he ended up in this hell. He just wanted to go home. Not be stuck in the past.


End file.
